paranoia

I now live in constant fear of discovering yet another 2-inch, lightning fast, shudder-inducing abomination in my living areas in the basement. Things didn't used to be so bad; I mean, I've lived in this house since I was in Grade 6, and I've lived in the basement since the end of
highschool. So I've definitely had a number of close encounters with the creepy crawlies. Granted, I'm now faced with the reality of living down here for a full 16 months, whereas previously, the longest consecutive stretch has been about 8 months. Perhaps the fact that I'm
now stuck here with no escape is making me go batty. Or perhaps... just perhaps... it's because one night last week, I found a member of the bug that haunts my worst nightmares IN MY BED.

OK, so since I already don't like bugs, finding any bug in my bed is beyond disgusting for me. But there are varying degrees of revulsion. Those little black armored things that are shaped like ovals and their legs are hidden beneath their beetle-like carapace (I don't know their
real name, but I've always thought of them as 'trundle bugs' because they are always trundling along ever so slowly) - they're no big. Not much of a shudder, and there's no scrambling or chasing or running away involved, plus they are quite an easy catch with my weapon of choice,
the vacuum cleaner. Spiders I can also deal with, I even have disposed of a huge one, the size of a quarter, all by myself (and a jar and some paper). You'll notice here that I am incapable of actually touching bugs voluntarily, not even with a tissue or some paper towel.

Then comes my nemesis: the house centipede. These motherfuckers are absolutely disgusting. When grown some, they are at least 2 inches long, and a good portion of that length results from the legs. I'd say that the legs are a good centimeter long, and they have 15 pairs of legs. One pair of those legs are even longer than the others, and they are apparently used for 'lasso-ing prey, so that the hapless victim can be injected with VENOM. House centipedes eat spiders, for gods' sakes. Apparently, if they ever bite you, it's as painful as a bee sting. I've also read that they live up to 6 FREAKIN' YEARS. So all of those carapaces that I've seen lying around over the years, aren't dead centipedes, they are just carapaces. Molted off cuz the beast is GROWING!!! *Growing faint here*

So, if you're somehow not grossed out yet (I dunno, cuz you're macho, or one of them), then go and check out a nice big picture of them here. I can't post that picture straight up because I can't handle looking at it for very long. It was enough just to find a decent picture for your
viewing pleasure.

Back to my story - I had had a lovely and amazing evening with the TSO and Anthony Daniels (the guy who played C3PO) and a galaxy far, far away. Really, it was quite thrilling, and to dig myself even further into that gaping pit of nerd-dom, I'll admit that I always get goosebumps when I hear that opening theme, all the more so with a live orchestra. Plus, there was even a choir, so that the whole Duel of the Fates theme was wicked.

The only downer was that I was sick. I think I caught the cold from my dad, and the day of the concert was the first full-fledged day of wonderful symptoms, so by the end of it, I was very ready to go home and sleep. I also had to get to work by 7 am the next morning, 1.5 hours
earlier than usual, for some training (involving vats of chemicals, yay).

So I finally get home, and head down to my room. A flick of the lightswitch, and GAHHHHHHHHH there's a centipede on my bed, sitting near the corner on my blankets. The shock changed to anger soon after, since I was sick and tired and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, and yet there's this disgusting creature violating my sleeping place. I grab the vacuum. I position the nozzle as best I can over the vile thing, though it was awkward due to having to stretch almost to the wall with my bed width in my way. I turn on the power, and dangnabbit, of course the vacuum starts sucking my blanket and I can't get loose from it. Now this is the part that has scarred me for life - the centipede (a big one too) scrambles away, on my sheets all the way across the length of my bed, and falls into the crack between my mattress and bedframe. This was the last straw for me, I was utterly revolted. There was no way that I was going to sleep in my bed now. I ran away and was pretty much reduced to tears from being sick, tired, feverish, and traumatized. I ended up sleeping upstairs on the couch in our family room.

The next day, I had my dad scout out my room for me. He sprayed Raid liberally everywhere (the kind containing some deadly (to bugs) chemical derived from chrysanthemums). We also ended up tossing mothballs into all the various nooks and crannies in my room. Now as I sit here, the faint scent of mothballs and flowers fills the air. Maybe I should also research whether I'm endangering my health with these fumes.

I know I should also clean my room completely, and organize every piece of junk so that my floor is completely bare. But I can't bring myself to do that because I'm afraid of what will jump out at me if I lift things off the floor. My fear of bugs has been turned into an actual paranoia, as I constantly survey my surroundings in search of the crawlers. I think I'm going crazy because before, I've only encountered them on the floor, and above that level. Now, they could be ANYWHERE.

On my bathroom trips in the middle of the night, I use my glasses so that I may spot any bathroom intruders. Indeed, a couple of nights ago, I saw 2: one small one trying to climb into the shower (while I was in the shower, shudder), and one big one (the one that got away?) at the foot of the sink. I dealt swift vacuum death to the small one, but ran away from the big one, and went to the washroom upstairs.

If anyone is doing a research project on using novel methods to help people get over their paranoias - count me in as your subject. Or just give me a 24-7 bug killer who will scout out the basement for me and dispose of any nasties.

posted by starfire @ 7:40 PM